Article

We’ve all had them: lousy fucking lap dances. Lap dances that turn your cock into soft tissue. The chick grinds too hard (ouch!) or not at all (blue balls!). She pushes your hand away when you try to touch her tits or grab her ass. She’s completely disinterested in you. She’s just working, and you’re just another sucker. You’re halfway through the first dance, and you can’t wait for the song to end so you can get her off your lap.

Of course, we’ve all had great lap dances, too. Dances you didn’t want to end. Dancers who were so good, you tried as hard as possible to keep from popping in your pants so the dance could last longer. Lap dances that were better than sex.

Nobody wants a bad lap dance. We all want to have a good time and get off. But how can we be certain that the next time we tuck our hard-earned cash into a dancer’s garter, heaven awaits?

Fortunately, there are ways to assure the perfect lap dance. We know. The two writers of this story have been getting lap dances for a combined 60 years, and now we’re ready to share our knowledge. It’s “The Uncensored Guide to Lap Dancing.” No bullshit. We should print this and leave copies on cigarette machines in the clubs.

We’ve divided this special report into three sections: “Do Your Homework,” “Rules of the Room” and “Lap Dance Etiquette.”

Ignore one or more of these sections at your own peril. Read ‘em all, digest ‘em and you’re on your way to lap dance nirvana.

See More of Carmen Hayes at SCORELAND.COM!

Star Interview

Entertaining hordes of horny men for several years surely educates an exotic dancer on how to give the audience what they want. Slone Ryder is a veteran house dancer and performance artist at a northern Kentucky nightclub. Now, she’s moved up to V-Mag model and XXX film star. Slone sent us an email with a photo attached and the rest was history. Hang on tight as we take a wild ride with Slone.

See More of Slone Ryder at SCORELAND.COM!

Talkin’ Tits Blog

We’re having an ongoing discussion here. We’re trying to figure out if big-boobed women tend to be attracted to each other. We don’t necessarily mean in a sexual or lesbian kind of way, but rather, do they merely seek each other out for friendship and comaraderie?

We are, naturally, very scientific in our approach. Mostly, we take our daily lunch break at various local eateries and check out the chicks. I’ll have to admit that, from our observations, we’re getting no closer to a solid answer. But, we’ll keep researching the subject day after day. That’s how devoted we are.

On occasion we see two or more stacked babes together. But it’s more often that when we see a woman with a nice rack, her companions are not as blessed. So even more questions surface.

See More of Talkin’ Tits Blog at SCORELAND.COM!

Star Interview

Originally Published in August ‘08 SCORE
Conducted by Dave Rosenbaum, editor

You can stick your tongue back in your mouth, SCORE Man. Yes, Janet Jade’s DDD-cup hangers are natural, yes, she really is that beautiful, and, yes, she really does have one of the most amazing bodies ever. Girls like Janet come along once in a lifetime…if you’re lucky.

The kudos are pouring in. I.B. from Canada wrote, “Janet is the hottest SCORE debut I’ve seen in a very long time, black or white. She has it all. I know it’s early, but Janet has my vote for 2008 Newcomer of the Year hands down.” Added L.C. from Wichita, Kansas, “Calling Janet the best black-and-stacked SCORE Girl ever isn’t enough. She might be the best SCORE Girl ever, period.”

And the best part about it? Janet doesn’t realize how great she is. Read on.

See More of Janet Jade at SCORELAND.COM!

Talkin’ Tits Blog

You may have noticed a new name at the top of the column. V-mag editor Gary Phillips is now at the reins of the blog, as Dave Rosenbaum has his hands full with being a TV star on SCOREtv. You’ve seen it haven’t you? If not, don’t deny yourself the pleasure. It’s a talk show all about big boobs (what else?) and lucky Dave plays host, interviewing some of the best big-boobers in the business. There’s tons of informative and entertaining special features, too. Check it out!

As I pondered what to write about in my first installment of Talkin’ Tits, my mind took me back through my lifetime as a lover of big boobs. Summer will officially be here soon and that brings back memories of a more carefree time in my life. I grew up in a small town and when I was 12 years old, a new community swimming pool opened. I didn’t live very far from the pool, so my parents bought a season pass for me and I made the most of it by going just about every single day. It was fun, a lot of my friends were there, it was cool on those hot summer days…and the place was packed full of big boobs! I was in tit heaven!

Most of the lifeguards there were high school students or were home from college for the summer and at least half of them were chicks. Hot chicks, as I recall, with V-mag quality racks. Okay, maybe they weren’t ALL model-quality babes, but these are my memories and I’ll play them through my mind any way I want to. What I do remember is one lifeguard in particular, and I swear my memory is clear when I think about her and her bountiful bosom. Her name was Debbie or Diane or Denise. Hell, it doesn’t matter now and it didn’t matter even then. She had big tits and she was in a swimsuit and I spent many an hour staring at her that summer. That’s what really mattered to me. Whatever lifeguard stand she was on, I would always strategically position myself for the best view of her jugs. That was always in the pool, because I didn’t want everyone to see the tent pole she was pitching in my swim trunks. Damn, those were good times.

See More of Talkin’ Tits Blog at SCORELAND.COM!

Star Interview

You don’t normally think of Gianna Rossi as a “bikini girl.” You think of her as a girl who sucks and fucks big cocks, like she did in the DVDs Pounding The Pledges and Big-Tit Tune Up. Gianna is a porn star. Case closed. Well, maybe not. Because when Gianna joined us in Eleuthera, Bahamas for the Big-Boob Paradise photo shoot, we saw a different side of Gianna. A glamorous side. A curvy, big-titted babe who looked spectacular in a bikini (just take a look at these photos) and loved soaking up the sun and swimming in the warm Bahamian waters. Of course, the Gianna we all know (and love) was always right below the surface, ready to burst out at a moment’s notice. As she did in this interview, conducted on the porch of our Eleutheran hideaway.

See More of Gianna Rossi at SCORELAND.COM!

Star Interview

V-mag: We are here today with Angela White, our V-mag Model of the Year for 2007. Hello Angela, and a big congratulations on winning our highest honor.
Angela: Thank you. I’m always happy to pay you a visit, but this is so very special. When I first got the news from your editor, Gary Phillips, I was literally in shock. Since I live so far away, Gary sent me an email and I sat at my computer for about 10 minutes with tears rolling down my face, completely speechless. Tears of joy, mind you. It really is a dream come true. I admire all the other women so much that I never thought I really had an honest chance at winning it myself. I’m so grateful to all the fans who voted for me. I’m flattered.
V-mag: Angela, you are one of our favorite V-mag and SCORE models of all time, not just this year with your Model of the Year win, but every year. Do you know why?
Angela: No. Tell me.
V-mag: You’re cute. You’re sexy. You have very big boobs. But there are many other reasons, too.
Angela: Please, tell me more.
V-mag: You are so enthusiastic and have such a wonderful attitude.
Angela: I just love this and I guess it shows. It’s so much fun and I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, so it’s exciting!
V-mag: In what ways are you an exhibitionist?
Angela: I just like being naked and just being natural and having everybody watch me. I like touching myself and other women, so doing solo and girl-girl photos and videos has been a perfectly natural thing for me.
V-mag: Another reason that you are so popular with our readers is that you are a lot like them. You like girls with big boobs, don’t you?

See More of Angela White at SCORELAND.COM!

Talkin’ Tits Blog

Unlike police radar, boob radar is almost never wrong!

I’ve been writing this blog for a while now, and it shocks me that I’ve never discussed one of my favorite topics, a topic that should be close to the hearts, minds and cocks of every lover of big tits. I’m referring to boob radar.

I’m guessing there’s almost nobody reading this who doesn’t know what I’m talking about–boob radar is the sixth sense that big-tit lovers have. For example, you’re standing on one side of a room that’s half the size of a football field. A woman walks in from the other side, 50 yards away. She’s wearing a big, black parka that doesn’t show off her figure. But somehow, in some way, you know she has big tits. And guess what? When she takes off her parka, you’re absolutely right. She could’ve been wearing a tent, she could’ve walked in entombed by cement, and you would’ve picked it up.

Why? Because you have boob radar. And it’s almost never wrong.

But there’s more to big-tit radar than simply being able to detect a chesty chick from clear across a room, no matter what she’s wearing. Your big-tit radar enables you to see tits better than you can see any object on the face of Earth.

See More of Talkin’ Tits Blog at SCORELAND.COM!

Specials

Camille Morgan Interview
Originally Presented in April ‘08 SCORE
Interview conducted by Dave Rosenbaum, editor
Girls like Camille don’t come along too often. Beautiful. Sexy. Natural DDD-cup tits. Full, round, 38-inch hips. And a 27-inch waist. We took one look at Camille and decided, “Stop the presses! She has to be in the Holiday ‘07 issue. She has to be one of the finalists for Newcomer of the Year.”
Seeing is believing with this slim-n-stacked beauty, who gave us a peak of her luscious, erect nipples on the opening page of her debut pictorial and then treated us to views of every inch of her succulent body. Camille is special. Very special, as you’re about to find out when you read this exclusive interview.

See More of Camille Morgan at Scoreland.com!

Merilyn Exposed Day 4

Merilyn’s pink go-go girl outfit emphasizes what a sexy body she has. She
answers several questions about sex which she’s never done before. She
searches her mind for the right words but let’s give her some credit. Her
halting English is still a lot better than our non-existent Ukrainian. To
help her out, our Ukrainian translator Jelena, a V-Mag model is off-camera.
It’s still enjoyable to hear her speak in her native language. She says she
loves to suck and pleasure a man with her mouth. Using her hands, she
demonstrates what she likes a man to do with his hands when they’re in bed.
“I like [to] feel a strong man’s hands,” Merilyn says. “I like when he suck
my nipples.” As the video progresses, we’ll learn even more about Busty
Merilyn’s erotic enjoyments as she demonstrates and speaks in her sexy
voice.

See More of Merilyn Sakova at Scoreland.com!